Growth and Change in Marriage
“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”
 – Pearl S. Buck
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Perfume Said,
January 6, 2010 @ 8:37 am
As with other attachments it is so difficult when attached. Being attached to things like: –
She is so good to me. She looks after all the things that I find mundane. I love her for it.
He dresses so well. I feel so good when I’m out with him.
We look after both of our sets of parents so well. It works so well.
She brings enough money in for us to afford private schooling. I’m so grateful.
Now what happens if the person changes? If they grow and want different things or change their views?
So she no longer has the time to look after all the things that I find mundane. Then what?
He starts shopping somewhere else and you don’t like his appearance any more.
Something happens and due to time, money or a change of health; you can’t manage as much time with both sets of parents so well.
She changes her job or hours and now cannot bring enough money in for you to afford private schooling.
What do you do? Accept it all and hope everything will out? Change accordingly to make YOUR team continue to work well? Insist that things stay the same by hook or by crook? Allocate blame and argue?
Allowing for change doesn’t mean you bury your head in the sand and hope. Silence isn’t the key either. I’d think you’d both need to communicate, create a plan, work together and ensure that whatever’s needed is taken care of and perhaps shift your goals or desires and prioritise. Either way, however you do it; both parties need to feel loved, valued, and be responsible so that things work out.